Why I Really Dislike “Enjoy Every Minute”

“Enjoy every minute” is one of my hated phrases that’s said to new parents. It is usually well-meaning, with no harm intended, but it often comes from people who are far enough away from those early days that they have forgotten how incredibly hard it can be to actually enjoy every minute.

As a mum of two, I know that the days are long, yet the years are oh so short. Time flies in a whirl of motherhood and the day to day. One moment tiny hands are placed in yours, and the next they are not so tiny anymore.

I do miss those days.

But hindsight is a funny thing.

I also remember the moments when I was covered in vomit and tears, the hours juggling a toddler and a newborn on no sleep, and the deep feeling of being lost in exhaustion and overwhelm.

The truth is this: it is impossible, in my opinion, to enjoy every single minute.

What I can do is try to be as present as possible, stay as regulated as I can manage, and allow myself to enjoy as many moments as I can. I can let the joyful ones mark my heart and be logged into my memory forever.

My problem with “enjoy every minute” is that it adds another layer of pressure in a time already full of expectations. From the moment you are pregnant, people tell you what you “should” do, the “right” way to handle things, and half of that advice is unlikely to be right for you anyway.

This phrase becomes one more thing to strive for, one more way to feel like you are getting it wrong when you inevitably do not enjoy every minute.

I believe in finding the ways that work for you, in pregnancy, in birth choices, in feeding decisions, in parenting, all of it. None of us are living the same life, with the same circumstances, or the same nervous system.

If you are not enjoying every minute, you are not failing. You are not doing anything wrong. You are doing your best in a season where so much is asked of you.

Enjoy the moments you can, and give yourself grace for the ones you can’t.

Time will move on, those little hands will grow, and blaming yourself will never make you a better parent. Do what you can, and let go of what you can’t.

Because connection doesn’t come from forcing yourself into the wrong boxes. It comes from doing what is right for you, and following the path that fits your life and your values. That is what matters most for your baby and their wellbeing, your confidence, your steadiness, and your joy.

Josie